Carpe Diem

Evening jogs with daddy in just a bit. Spent my day watching some kpop vids after disappearing from the k world for so long. Theres so much stuff on my mind now, but i just cant get started. Quit being whiny. Enough of short sentences. Im 17 going 18 sooon, and i should boost my vocabulary. My language is that of a primary school kid. What a failure.

Anyway, i am so tempted to go for my inking soon. Okay, Charmaine...delay gratification. Wait till your more matured. Im so afraid i ink something senseless and end up regretting (like i always do. Making irrational choices and ending up so fucked up. LOL. I mean...JC?! Okay enough)

Lets pray the evening run will be able to help me sort out my thoughts. What if i receive my results tmr only knowing that i am unable to promote? Bla...and the list goes on. C'est la vie

SHINee Hello

HAHAHAHA @ ONEW'S HAIR... so qt pie!~~~ ^^

SHINee Lucifer

Love them all~ ONEW! KEY! JONGHYUN! TAEMIN! MINHO! LOVERHOLIC~~

Super Junior(슈퍼주니어)_너 같은 사람 또 없어_뮤직비디오(MusicVideo)

Shit! I literally awwww-ed when i saw heechul...

Then screamed when i saw eunhyuk...

And melted when i saw sungmin. AHHHHH~~~~

T.O.P - Turn It Up

T.O.P OMFG OMFG....SEX BOMB!!!!!!!!!!

BEAST/B2ST - Breath (SOOM)

KIKWANG AND DOOJOON!~ SEX!

2PM - I'll Be Back

After leaving the kpop world for quite some time, i decided to immerse in the kpop spirit once again.

LOVING NICHKHUN AND CHANSUNG~ and why does junsu seem to get hotter???!!

忍

you & i

Rather young snippets

This is 2010, where i thought i looked like shit...but its not the worst...

This was 2008, MY PEAK of UGLY-NESS

2007, looking ever so fugly

2009, i think 2009 was the best. Thanks to OWL fringe : )

I cannot believe how i terribly ugly i was in the past...(i actl picked the best lot. GOSH)

Blend

Churning this random post whilst enduring the pain from my swollen toe. Mum said its some in grown nail shit and it sounds terribly horrifying. Im browsing a couple of blogs now and i really love to read people's shit. I should seriously consider quitting being so nosey lest my inferiority reaches its maximum.

So i was trying to be all arty farty attempting to complete Oranges within a day. But i dont know where i place the book since sunday and i guess i have to get another book, fail.

Im so terribly jealous of girls with flawless skin. And know what? I hate them. I hate pretty girls. I love ogling at them, and i hate them for being too pretty. You may argue that beauty is only skin deep, character is most important.

Bullshit

No one notices you if you dont have big eyes, sharp nose, fair skin, flawless skin, rosy cheeks, big boobs, firm ass.

I should consider turning lesbian

nuff said, the perils of prettiness

(edit) I think im mentally unsound. Googling: Reasons to love my boobs. HAHAHA! I sound stop being so bloody random (/edit)

(edit) boost my own ego now... IM SO PRETTY. SOOOO PRETTY!!! but then again, its useless...its a lie (/edit)

Dad: JIE! DRINK THE RIBENA!
Me: Huh...why?
Dad: You always drink what, dont waste.
Me: Give ray lah
Dad: what do u drink in the morning then? milo?
Me: *rolls eyes* Chicken essence lah!
Dad: THATS ALL?
Me: YAH...
Dad: Dont waste the milo
Me: So drink milo or ribena? Choose one.
Dad: Finish ur soup first.

WALAO

Dont

1. leave my clothes lying everywhere
2. sleep with my hair wet
3. be lazy and not put pimple cream
4. scratch eczema
5. be a pig
6. keep eating yong tau foo
7. be so random
8. act like a retard

But these are things i do everyday
Swear

Face down

I dont know why but i am getting sick and tired of sharing my thoughts on a portal like that.
Anyway, it was a day well spent with the two girls yesterday. Nothing to do in town, just roamed eat and worked out. It was a naked face day yesterday, but still i felt so rejuvinated with the girls. Oh ya, this calls for a major need for silver metallic eyeliner. I dont know why but yes, silver metallic.

Hectic week ahead, so not looking fwd.

梁山伯与茱丽叶

Aztec

TO VIVIAN!

刘力扬林宥嘉_传说_MV

Evan Yo - Wo Ke Yi

黃鴻升-搞砸了MV

不屑

50th

This is my 50th post. YAY!~ Anyway, i was pondering about some stuffs as usual while i was having a quick shower just now. Are we all born worriers, and none of us a warrior?
Caught episode 6 of cycle 15 last night and i absolutely love Jane... and it cheers me up to see her improving, but still, Ann is a killa and she's so owning the entire cycle. Insanely thin body, bloody tall and lanky, stunning pair of eyes. Freaking gorgeous. As for jane, her awesome bone structure, beautifully blonde, sweet looking. Freaking awesome. And im just waiting for them to send Liz home, though she's becoming quite of a joke in the show. HAHAHA

Dinner was awesome and i need round two soon, oh ya, long time since i've ran. Need to shape up a little. Just a tiny tiny bit. Tmr evening sees me running.

Kbye

Inferno

i guess i need not feel guilty anymore, i need to stop thinking about stuffs without any concrete reasoning. My thoughts are getting so random and sometimes, they just bother me. But i guess things have turned for the better, losing a friend, isnt, that painful after all. They seem happier, as though they were set free from their chains. To think that i had actually worried slightly if it would be a headache or bring pain to others, im such a worrier, a born worrier, i worry too much. I must stop caring about others, lest i put myself at stake, not forgetting to mention my love.

Enough of negativity Charmaine, let positivity reign. C'mon~

(this post sounds like a serious case of monologuing)

Its 11:11PM, time for a good old shower and continue working on PW slides.

Move on

i decided to whip my own meal since i skipped dinner yet again. My maid's dishes are getting really boring and besides, the custard buns in the aftnn seriously win all the food hands down, not forgetting to mention bat kut teh, and har gow shared with lovely lovely.

Took some ingredients to complete my wholesome meal of maggimee with egg and chye sim, and i saw a big bottle of Ribena at the side of the fridge pocket. "crap" I muttered silently. "must stop mummy from buying ribena already"

Wanted to drink coffee but decided that i should turn in earlier tonight, so i took a packet of milo and then i suddenly recalled... "crap, i cannot drink milo too"

Once again, i lost a friend. Two friends gone in a week. I can take it, i can take it, and most probably, hopefully, so can they.

(edited) and then i scroll down to the bottom of my blog, and saw the name of the designer...erm....move on? the world is so kind... (/edited)

Bury the hatchet

算了，事情都过了。。。我带着恳切的心，希望一切的悲伤都会圆满的结束。
痛，心痛，只是成长的过程。 但却万万没想到我竟然会哭到。。哈哈哈，算了。
不需，他人的关怀，他人的怜悯。。。我不可悲。
只需，一些些的时间。。但同时，也希望随着时间，感情不会渐渐的淡化。

再次的寻找我原来的笑容。。。

What they saw

the afternoon saw me idling with vivian at JP
the night would see me struggling to memorise econs

神雕俠侶_張紀中-周華健-胡軍-黃曉明-小蟲_江湖笑

MY FAVE SONG!!!!!!

[MV]神雕俠侶-天下無雙

姑姑~~ guo er~~ : )

蕭敬騰 新不了情MV

Blue - U Make Me Wanna

The opposite

: )
: )
: )

I am very happy. No tears.
My eyes are not swollen....
Im not trying to win sympathy votes.
Im strong.
Im a victor, im not a victim.

: )
: )
: )

I am really very happy...

他走了你可以把梦留下

Toploader - Dancing in The Moonlight

Michael Buble

Dong Lai

My favourite character in the show has to die...hais...Deng chao~

With all honesty

im churning this last post (hopefully) with all honesty.

For the past 18hours or so, ever since i got back from Bishan Reading Room yesterday I have only touched 2 pages of Taming of the Shrew. Wasnt feeling guilty yesternight cus i knew i would flunk today's paper but right now, im feeling shitty for wasting the whole of yesternight doing stuffs like stalking on facebook, talking on the phone, msn, sms.

Seriously, i cannot comprehend what is going on within my thinking cells.
Should i shave my legs now? Im sitting next to my hair removal cream and its been bloody long since i've shaved my legs.

I should stop being so random over the things i blog about, grow some maturity Charmaine, please.

o v e r d o s e

i was browsing through my past archives and i realized i do not possess the ability to freely express my ways of thinking through language. Simply because my tenses are often wrong, my spelling is atrocious, my the severe deficit of vocabulary... Enough said.
Then i wondered. What the hell is wrong with me. LITERATURE?

Jokes aside

Im taking my last paper today

Yay? Its literature.

Heart of a Fighter

Today i was wondering if i was bisexual, i sound so UN-biblical, and definitely not doing any justice to my daily devotions (okay not really). But still, i love guys, i like lesbians.
I love everyone. But i hate the human potential.

Finally catching a movie with Joshua tmr. YAY!

Breakeven

How would i look with hair like this?
I doubt anyone would be able to accept it.

So i decided to do a list of why i should cut my hair and why i should not (knowing that i wont come to a conclusion, im practically wasting time here)

Should cut: Sick and tired of my old hair style.
Lazy to tie my hair.
The weather is frustrating.
Hair takes damn long to tie.
PIMPLES
Ultimately, change (not always good, but still being a stick in a mud is bad)

Should not cut: i cannot wear blouses that often anymore
bohemian plan fail
limited clothings
my boyfriend might leave me for other girls (HAHAHA)
what if i wanted to be girly that day!?

OMG seriously CHARMAINE...

Things to do after promos

1. Meet Vivian/Fionn
2. Meet the churchies
3. Go out with ♥
4. SHOP
5. Eat
6. Pray
7. Love
8. Pack my room
9. Sew
10. Cook
11. New Hairdo
12. Piercings

And for convenience... let me elaborate on point 4, for i have somehow or another forgotten what is it like to shop.

1. Floral Dress
2. Floral Romper (pirategypsies)
   
3. Black Romper or this
   
4. Navy Romper
5. Frill Romper
6. Jeans Vest
7. Sandals
8. Concealer
9. Nude Lipstick
10. Black Panties
11. Black Bras
12. Jeans (i cannot find nice jeans)
13. Floral Shorts
14. Black Watch
15. Silver Eyeliner
16. Tank Tops
17. Chino Pants
18. Moccasins
    

and apparently the list ends here, i am detached from the fashion or whatever you call it, entertainment world. BORING. Lazy of matching clothes because my wardrobe is freaking pathetic, so i shall bring on the ONE PIECE attire, no need to match. Slip on and go. Waaa, awesome, totally for lazy souls like me. Why didnt i think of that earlier? I am in love with black briefs, they silhouette your body curves so bloody well...even if you have a lousy figure like me, omg, black lingerie, is what you should be hankering after. OMG SHUT UP. I got to beef up my examples for tmr's GP paper. (btw i think im weird. no one sees your lingerie right? but oh well...at least its pleasing in your own eyes..you know..like self confidence..morale...yup! -.-) Sometimes i have this thought of going out in black panties. HAHAHAH. Okay..i sound mentally unsound. But i hate wearing so many layers of things at the bottom...i feel so...restricted and...choked. Perhaps that is why i okay too much unnecessary info.

And as you can see...Hiatus attempt #1 this year...FAILED.

queer

HIATUS

September Ends

It was mum's birthday yesterday. Im still craving for the deer meet and the soft crab with egg. Had been living with my doudou for a week. IRRITATING PIMPLES

Thorns

This week was pretty much a disaster. With only a few days left to promos, im still hyperventilating over my korean drama, staying up and doing totally irrelevant stuffs (which includes stalking and yes, facebook) I just realized lace lingerie are absolutely sexy, okay random much. Getting rather incoherent now, considering the time and im still up, attempting to finish reading my Wide Sargasso Sea, but ended up talking to Joshua.

Today, i had a new ambition, a new inspiration...i thought, maybe i should be a French Chef or something and like own a restaurant serving the high end people, or even better, people hiring me to cook for them. THIS-IS-SO-AUTISTIC! But i guess i'll fail as a chef, i suck at everything. My dream of being a designer or anything that revolves around the fashion industry is starting to waver...and the thought of a quivering dream is scary... i thought your dreams were supposed to be rooting you and spurring you to do your best in order to achieve your goals? But i guess change is only constant.

But sometimes, change isnt always good.

Oh well, incoherency sipping in....

THE END

Nude Face

Goodbye Makeup, or at least, i hope.

Wishful thinking

(post removed)

寂寞寂寞就好 MV

極限完整版MV [HD]

不夠成熟

想我还是不够成熟
还达不到你的要求
我真的没有想的太多
只是怀念
你走以后
离开难道真的是解脱
难道真的要事过境迁了以后才懂

倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
真的不难过 笑着和你挥挥手
如果有一天 我们有缘再见

你会不会想起说过的永远

Apart from the handsome dude in the MV, the lyrics, makes me wanna tear.
Sorry for the sudden spam of chinese songs, but chinese lyrics are so meaningful, or at least to me.

No doubt

*faints* ALONSO!!!

It is definitely undeniable that everything has two sides of a coin to it.

I was browsing through my msn history chats once again. Its strange, my heart felt so uneasy just by going through those chats. Anyway, i've googled some remedies for pimples and they said by putting toothpaste on your pimple, it reduces the redness and the pain. WOW. Im so gonna try it. Google, saves the day.

Ferrari > McLaren > RBR-Renault

TIRAMISU

5 tsp. instant espresso or coffee
3 egg yolks
1/2 c. sugar
3 tbsp. dark rum
8 oz. mascarpone, about 1 c. (may substitute equal weight of Ricotta pureed until smooth)
3/4 c. heavy cream
12 lady fingers or 1 (12 oz.) pound cake
2 tsp. unsweetened cocoa

Dissolve espresso or coffee in 3/4 cup hot water.
Beat yolks and sugar 2 minutes.
Beat in rum and mascarpone.
Beat cream until it holds stiff peaks.
Fold in cheese mixture.
Halve lady fingers or cut pound cake into fingers.
Dip in cooled espresso, letting the cake absorb all liquid.
Pat 4 pieces in each of 6 serving glasses and pour in mascarpone.
Sprinkle with cocoa, then chill.

OKOK I will try after my promos, joshua ♥

America's Next Top Model Cycle 15 Episode 2

OKAY CHARMAINE, STAY CALM. BREATHE.
*SQUEALS*
OMG This has gotta be the best season of antm!!! And im still not doing my work. Procrastinated since 12pm this aftnn. And My Girlfriend is Gumiho is getting so frustrating...cannot stop tearing. Hais. Alright, i'll get down to weathering after this awesome episode ends.

I love anamaria! Ohhh carina resembles a little of kayla. HAHAHHA. Really. I think?

+2

23

♥ ^ 23
i guess this is another medium i transmit my virtual kiss to you.
Happy 2 Months Joshua Koh!
POINGS~

Weird

Haha it surprises me. I had been thinking that no one reads my blog. That i had been blogging to myself, that i had a really private life. Apparently not. As the days go by, more come to know about my older blogs and it really surprises me. Seriously, you people are amazing.
Its queer, its an uncanny feeling. I thought by bottling everything up, hiding evtg from j, i would feel much better. Now, coming to think of it, i was foolish. Keeping everything to myself, thinking that staying mum was the best option. Certainly, staying mum isnt the best way to keep a relationship going.

Alright, time to hit the books. Its 2.47 and i aim to turn in by 430am.

But once again, in a spur of a moment, i think i should delete all my blogs. There are certain memories i do not need to keep. Sometimes, i should just wade in the present and enjoy my blissful life, well almost.

Stove Top Macaroni & Cheese (ACCOMPLISHED)

1 8oz. box of elbow macaroni, cooked
and drained

1/4 stick butter

1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated

and there you go, ready to nom nom nom your way through.

My supper for t9t! Because my oven is dead and i have no choice to stick with no-bake food. HAIS. I wanted to have baked cheese macaroni so bad. Anyway, i bought Oriental Campbell soup, and i am wondering how it tastes like. So excited for supper at 1ish later. For now, i'll complete my overdue chinese assignment. ZZZZ

Obsessions

I am contemplating whether or not to get more piercings done.

It could either be a brow piercing or another piercing below my helix. I really want a labret done. But how am i going to go to school with a labret? Beats me. Anyway, a brow piercing is sexy too...so i just have to control my cravings for a labret till the holidays.

Lately, i had been obsessed over collarbones. I love protruding collarbones, they look bloody defined and oh-my-god, gorgeous. The bad weather is cursing me with pimples all over and great, i've got one on my back. My stomach is rumbling but im too lazy to have my dinner. Lets just say, i want more defined collarbones? But nope, its not a diet. I would never ever want to go on a diet. I love food...tooo much. But my laziness is killing me.

Hmm..now when should i get my piercings done? No wait, where should i get it/them done? So afraid of 77th street. Maybe i'll make my way to some tatt shop to have my piercings done, plus, indulge in the sound of tatts. OH MAN... now i want a tattoo... i have to wait till i leave home for a tattoo.

Here we go again

(edited) I gave in to...FOOD...hello dinner(/edited)

Losing My Mind by Lee Seung Gi (eng subs)

No min woo X Lee Seung GI

Second fave song, after the one by Lee Seung Gi. AWWWW

had been listening to these the whole day. NO MIN WOO IS FREAKING SEXY.

Dae Woong > Min Woo > Lee Seung Gi > Dong Joo

HAHAHA. POSSESSED

Autopsy

sleep, is all i need

Pressing for time now as the promos are drawing close. Late nights, caffeine, eye bags, here we go again. But i mean, whats new? Chatting with someone i havent been really talking to for a considerably long time, it reminds me of how quickly time has passed. I need to hang in there just a bit. Even if i might not make it through the promos and promote next year, at least i've tried and i'll gladly leave this place (or so i think). Meanwhile, with that aside, let me complete my GUMIHO kdrama before settling down on Macro Econs.

XOXO

DOA

Dead or Alive, i wont let the world decide.

What a shame, we all became such fragile broken things

and they said you dont live for others

Pixie Market

----------
Now all i need is time for me to hunt for pretty clothes. My cupboard is rotting and the feeling just sucks. Retail therapy is a must must before the promos, lets see how mummy responds to it. Meanwhile, im watching a Kdrama (when i thought i had already left the K world). Mischievous Kiss by Kim Hyun Joong, as introduced by Vivian. Well, its not that bad...but i prefer the Taiwanese Version of It Started With a Kiss to this.
XOXO

Under my skin

Looking for summer

Seeking refuge in food.

Manual shrinking done rather badly. Sipping on my second cup of coffee since i've got home. I had better finish reading Macro Econs before i turn in t9t or else i can forget about studying at JE lib tmr. Shall do up a proper post sometime again, yes the sound of me doing up a proper post kinda sucks because it means..IMPULSIVE VERBAL VOMIT. at least i gave warning, and ample time for mental preparation. Oh well...

Pathetique mov 3

its been a really long time since i've actually practiced the piano. Had been listening to this since 7pm and i am searching for the scores now, if time permits, i might actually make my way down to purchase the different movements. I miss playing the piano oh man....

This is a clearer version as compared to the one i posted on twitter and facebook.

enjoy. : )

Breathe

I guess its time for me to hit my pillows even though i have yet to complete the things on my To-Do-List. Now, i understand the miseries of caffeine overdose given that im drained but yet unable to catch a wink. Randomly, i managed to pen down my inner thoughts in my rather deficit of entries diary. I am beginning to question the existence of this blog because i see no point in sharing my daily rantings. Hence, goodbye, till i see the urge for another verbal vomit (which i pressume would be soon).

B-R-E-A-T-H-E

Perils of prettiness

This is the way i live every night, by my phone, by the laptop, with some random snax, and a cup of coffee. I guess all my sleepless nights have to pay their respects to the caffeine overdose i've been inflicting upon myself. I love it when 12am approaches, because i can get to hear my favourite boy on the phone and we'll both end up in a state of momo-ness and often it would be me that would be speaking incoherently, no surprise.

I've lost track of the number of days left till the promos and even if i did not lose count, the way i am leading my life now is seriously (*speechless*). Procrastination...whats new? I decided to blog today because i felt the desperate need to keep myself mentally sound. Vulnerability is running through me and yes, its those random nights where i'll somehow manage to cry myself to sleep, eerie. Am i suffering from some sort of bipolar? Maybe i should take a cyber vacation again, and stop stalking pretty girls (of which i know i can't). Why must there be a clear division of pretty? Is being pretty everything? While one may argue that being pretty isnt everything, he or she is definitely deceiving him or herself. In this new age, who dare swear that looks isnt what they are hankering after? I'll give you a ride on a limousine, that is if i had one.

I can feel a million people standing up against me. The way i blog is seriously atrocious. Well, i shouldnt be sorry. Why should i? I am just being candid in every single entry by sharing my views and spreading my inferiority (heh). And oh yes, not forgetting to mention, i often end up contradicting myself.

Pardon this God-knows-what entry. Please dont tell me im riding the crimson waves again. ARGH

Watch me burn

i wonder if this blog would be like those previous ones, whining about life, complaining about my looks, having bitchy insights of my daily happenings. Seriously, im no optimist but i never fail to amuse myself, as i skim through my archives time to time again. I treat blogging as a portal to vent my displease, to keep myself sane by constantly verbal purging. Going on a verbal diet soon. I talk so much, i need to listen more.

Church later, and it suddenly rings a bell... I have yet to pay my tithe! Visiting grams tmr, its been so long since i've seen her and im not missing her one bit. Sometimes i am rather jealous of friends who have really nice grandparents, and envious that they can build such amazing rapport with old folks. Trust me, im a complete idiot when it comes to communicating with elderly. I am rude, loud, and totally not attractive.

BLA

Wasted youth

erm...ar...hi. I have decided to blog, again.

This is incoherent entry 1, pardon the ridiculous random url i came up with.